I Know What You're Doing This Summer
by m-girls
Summary: Au, modernized. After 6th year, Lily’s family takes the Marauders along on a camping trip, muggle style. It seems that James knows her summer better than her! Bets, Humor, and accidents caused out of pure stupidity occur! Full Summary inside.
1. In Which Lily Learns of her Summer Plans

Please note: Written without reference to HBP. This story is slightly modernized and a little AU.

Disclaimer: Sure, I would love to have my own island and be richer than the queen of England, but seeing as I'm currently broke... that's not really a possibility.

Summary: Au, modernized. Lily comes home after 6th year to find that she'll be spending the summer with the Marauders! Her family has agreed to take the boys on some good old fashion muggle camping experience. Her parents 'forget' to mention what they have planned for the second part of her summer, let alone that she had any plans this summer! Bets are made, hilarity occurs, and numerous trips to the hospital are in order. As the summer progresses and Lily spends more time with her nemesis, will she actually realize that there's actually a decent person in James? Or will this summer prove that he really is an insensitive dimwit?

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I Know What You're Doing This Summer

Chapter One: In Which Lily Learns of her Summer Plans

Lily Evans sat on her bed at her home in Surrey. She had just come home from her boarding school, where she had completed her sixth year. Her 17th birthday was a couple weeks back, so she would finally legally be allowed to have passengers when she drove.

Lily was a normal girl, normal, of course, in the sense that she did exceptionally well in school (she had been a prefect and had the highest marks in her year) and had had a couple of boyfriends. She had, of course, the typical brats that got on her nerves, and that one especially crazy and deranged one that had made it his official life goal to date her.

Lily sighed as she glanced at her school trunk she had yet to unpack. As she thought of how long the task would take, she heard the doorbell ring.

"Lily! Could you get that please?"

'One more magic less summer,' she thought, looking longingly at her wand lying on her bedside table, 'Until I can body bid Potter to a porkey and hex him off the Siberia, where mountain lions will rip him apart and eat his flesh!'

She got up to go answer the door.

Okay, so she wasn't _exactly_ normal...

But she had a very good reason to hex James Potter to Siberia.

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_The Day Before_

"_James Potter, you insufferable prat! Change my hair back this instant!" Lily yelled, fuming as she chased a tall black haired boy inside a scarlet train. Her emerald eyes were glowing dangerously, which was a clear warning sign._

"_Come on Lily! The gold goes right along with your hair to show your house colors! It's a match made in heaven! Where's your sense of house pride?" James called over his shoulder, dodging a terrified first year._

"_Oh, you mean the color in my hair is GOLD? Have you gone completely colorblind, because I could have sworn that this is the color blue! Wait, could this part be GREEN?"_

"_Lily, lighten up!"_

"_Yeah, you did a good job lightening up my hair twerp!"_

_Three boys stuck their heads out of a compartment door. One had sandy brown hair, another black, and the final blonde._

"_For someone who wants her so badly, he's not doing a very good job of getting Lily to like him..." Remus Lupin pointed out logically._

"_Prongs is going to change her hair back as soon as she pulls the line 'I'd rather go out with the Giant Squid than with you!' " Sirius imitated in a high voice. "Or something like that."_

_Remus shook his head. "Three galleons says that Prongs will get his ass kicked by Lily with that new charm she found."_

"_I'll take that bet Moony." Exclaimed Sirius._

"_The one that makes you itch like crazy? No way!" Peter asked with a shudder. He had an unfortunate accident of getting caught in the crossfire in one of the famous Evans-Potter battles._

"_Fine, be a spoilsport Wormtail." Sirius pouted._

_All three boys quickly pulled their heads into the compartment, in the nick of time, saving them for decapitation as Lily and James went running by._

_Inside the compartment, Peter said "I think Lily's finally going to admit her undying love to James."_

_Remus and Sirius turned their heads slowly and looked at Peter strangely. _

_Sirius scoffed, wondering how much James paid him to say that, while Remus muttered, "Always the optimistic, aren't you Wormtail?"_

_Peter shrugged. "One of us has got to be, at least for Prongs' sake."_

_The boys simultaneously stuck their heads back out into the aisle, to see the redhead walking towards them with the same rainbow hair, as James was trying to scratch himself with his hands and feet._

_It was quite a funny sight, seeing the handsome young man jumping up and down, running into walls trying to itch every part of his body._

_James caught their eyes and glared, suspicious of his mates, as they smiled innocently and waved._

_James, in return, sarcastically waved back and made a rude hand gesture._

_Remus automatically stuck his hand out toward Sirius. _

_The black haired boy grudgingly handed over three golden coins and muttered something containing the words, "Werewolf", "Torture", and "Silver room"._

_Remus smiled, wiggling his ears to show he had heard, and pocketed the money. "I maybe be a werewolf, but at least I'll be a rich one." _

_Sirius smiled sarcastically and proceeded to tackle Remus, taking him by surprise. _

_Ignoring the minor battle happening next to him, Peter watched with curiosity at Lily and James's antics._

"_EVANS! Take this curse off me!"_

"_When you decide to grow up! I won't go out with you, no matter how many times you ask!"_

"_Come on Lily, I think you're just mad because I beat you on the Transfiguration final!"_

_A vein pulsed visibly on Lily's forehead. He did NOT just say that._

"_I am SO glad I'm not going to see your stupid face until September! Would it be so hard to just leave me alone?" Lily yelled, turning on her heel and walking past the Marauder's compartment to her own. As she passed, she made sure to give Peter an evil glare._

"_I know what you're doing this summer!" James called after her._

"_Yeah, enjoying a peaceful vacation without you." She yelled as she stormed away._

_James just stood and grinned (scratching, of course)._

"_That's what you think, Lily, that's what you think."_

_Remus and Sirius had stopped wrestling, with the latter in a headlock._

"_Mercy?" Remus asked menacingly._

"_ARG... fine! Whatever!"_

_Sirius waited expectantly, turning his head as much as possible to look at Remus._

"_Well?"_

"_Well what?"_

"_Do you see me in a headlock by some shrimpy graying teenager?" Sirius said, pointing to himself._

"_Is this a trick question?"_

"_Dammit Moony! Let me go!" Sirius yelled, trying to wriggle out of Remus's grasp._

"_Say the magic word."_

"_Moony is the most smartest, and the most brilliant..."_

_Remus looked at him expectantly._

"…_Dope head around." Sirius finished._

"_Nope."_

"_Fine. Mercy."_

"_What? Speak up."_

"_Mercy." Sirius said, a little louder._

"_What?"_

"_MERCY!"_

"_Jeez, you don't have to yell it!"_

_Sirius gave Remus a sour look. Was he going to get him back or what..._

"_I'll never get how such a wimpy looking guy like you can always win..." Sirius said rubbing his neck after Remus released him._

_Remus smirked and said, "It's the werewolf part."_

"_Aha! It's all Fabio's fault..." Sirius cried._

_Remus rolled his eyes. James and Sirius dubbed the werewolf part of him Fabio, for some still unknown reason. Their jokes about his 'furry problem' helped him cope with his differences, despite what logical reasoning might point out._

"_You know this summer Moony..." Sirius started, with a dangerous twinkle in his eye that could rival Dumbledore's._

_Remus arched an eyebrow._

"_Let's have a little bet. Ten galleons says Prongs kisses Lily, and it'll be by the end of the…err, first part, that they start dating."_

"_Little bet? 20 galleons says that Lily and Prongs hook up by the end of summer, with Lily kissing Prongs. Friends first though." Remus said smugly._

_Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Little bet?"_

"_Don't mock me, Lassie."_

"_Who the hell is Lassie? I've been asking that since 2nd year!"_

"_Pay attention to Muggle Studies and you would have found out in 3rd."_

"_Please, Wolf Boy, that's against my morals." Sirius scoffed._

"_I thought you didn't know what 'morals' were."_

"_WORK WITH ME HERE!"_

_Peter rolled his eyes and sighed, biting into a Pumpkin Pasties._

_--------------------------------------------------------------_

5 MINUTES BEFORE, PRESENT TIME

The four boys pulled themselves and their luggage up to the Evan's house, dropping it on the front porch.

"I can just see the look on Evans face when she finds out her summer plans…." Sirius said, rubbing his hands together.

"I don't think it'll look different from any other time the professors paired her with Prongs." Remus added smartly.

"Hmm."

The four boys stared at the door for a few minutes.

"So do we just go in?" James asked, looking around the neighborhood.

Wizard visitors usually apperated right into the building, if the owners allowed it through magic. Other times, they just flooed in. None of them had ever been to a pure muggle house, though Remus knew what certain muggle items were, seeing as he was a half-blood.

"Didn't they say something about a ringing noise polite?" Sirius questioned, "But I don't see a bell anywhere…."

"Maybe we're suppose to just open the door?" Remus remarked. "I mean, it's only Lily's house. What about that button?"

Sirius pointed a finger at Remus. "No. No buttons. Bad experience." He turned back to studying the door.

"But shouldn't there be some sort of lock? You know, to keep the bad guys out?" James said.

"I think we're suppose to ring a bell. Now where do we find a bloody bell?" Sirius said, patting his pants' pockets.

"How are they suppose to hear it if we're out here?" James said bewildered. "They'll never be able to hear a bell!"

"Maybe it's a loud bell." Peter suggested.

"Guys, let's just knock and go in." Remus insisted. "Better yet, push the button. What harm could it do?"

"No no no no no. Last time you said that we landed inside McGonagall's room. We're not having a repeat." Sirius stated.

"This isn't McGonagall's house, genius."

"No, we're defidentally suppose to get a bell." Peter said, looking around. "That's what they said in muggle studies, right?"

"Say we listen to Remus and knock. Are they really going to be able to hear it through the door?" Sirius asked his friends. "Maybe we should all pound on it."

Remus looked at James, who shrugged. "If I'm right, and we were suppose to press that button ("NO!"), or knock once, you all owe me a galleon each."

James scoffed. "Bring it on. Okay, count of three we all start hitting the door."

Everyone nodded in agreement.

"One… two-"

"You _do_ know how to count to three, right Prongs?"

"Of course I can dimwit. One-"

"You already said one."

"Well gee, Padfoot, if you let me get past it we would already be at three. One, two… THREE!"

And four teenage boys began beating the Evans' door with their fists, occasionally running against it, banging their bodies.

"No one's answering!"

"Come on, knock harder!"

They continued to hit the door, often swearing.

Suddenly, the door was knocked down from its hinges and the boys crashed onto and older man wearing a camouflage hunting vest, who was about to open the door.

The boys all tumbled into the foyer, where they were surprised to see lots of animal heads on the walls. James got wide eyed when he saw a stag's head. He gulped, imagining his head being chopped off and mounted on a wall.

James blinked. How _did_ they get a stag's head on a wall without magic? He assumed it was like the house elves at the Blacks, which he had fortunately only been to once.

Sirius sat up, shaking his head rapidly, trying to get rid of some dizziness. Sirius also realized that all the animal head were staring at him to. Freaked out about the fact that the animals were all watching him, he skirted across the floor until his hand hit something furry. He looked up slowly.

He yelp and scurried away from the stuffed bear that was towering over him, baring all of its teeth at him.

"What the bloody hell are you doing, knocking down my door! You're a burglar! I'm calling the police! I've got a gun!" The old man yelled, getting up, reaching for a rifle that was on top of a bureau.

As Remus looked across the room he noticed that on all the higher furniture there were long… pipes? What would Lily be doing with pipes, and why would there be an old man who was clearly obsessed with dead animals in her house?

Not that the boys actually knew that muggles used a rifle to kill people, but they assumed that it was a good idea if the man didn't get what he was reaching for.

Remus hurriedly blocked his path to the rest of the house, debating whether to push the man away from bureau. "No! We're not criminals! We never take other peoples stuff! Don't call the police."

If the Marauders knew one thing about muggles, it was their policemen. Sirius and James had a run in with an officer the summer before 5th over a slight, err, _misunderstanding._

"Prongs did steal my sugar quill last month though. ARREST HIM!" Sirius yelled, pointing at James.

"I love you too Padfoot."

The old man, who was obviously wearing false teeth, shot them an evil and terrifying glare, and continued to jump for the gun.

"You were knocking down my door! I'm calling the police! I'm being robbed! You're all dangerous!" He wailed. With every word, he shook a threatening finger at them, occasionally staring threateningly at the gun that was out of his reach.

"Only Remus once a month." James retaliated. "Well, and Sirius all the time. So that's an unfair statement."

Remus groaned. "You realized you made me sound like I'm a hormonal female teenager?"

"I'M CALLING! AND I'M GOING TO GET MY GUN!"

Remus shook his hands in front of him. "No! Don't call! Don't get your, erm, gun!"

Sirius was about to lean on the table for support (he was feeling a little dizzy from the fall), when the man started yelling at Sirius.

"DON'T TOUCH THAT! YOU'RE GOING TO STEAL IT!"

"NO I'M BLOODY NOT! How would I steal a table? Hide it in my pocket?" Sirius jumped back and stood in a mock army pose. "Are you happy now?"

Peter, who just sat up, looked at the old man strangely. "Who are YOU?"

The old man stopped trying to get around Remus and gave Peter the same bewildered look. "Who are YOU?"

The boy shrugged. "Peter?"

"What are you doing in my house? Stealing something! Taking advantage of an old man who lives alone!"

All four Marauders stared at the old man. "ALONE?"

There was an awkward silence.

"So this isn't the Evans' household?" James asked slowly.

"Next door on the left number 13… wait, you're trying to rob them!" The old man spat. All intentions of getting the gun forgotten, he picked up a boot menacingly, holding it as if it were a machete. "I won't let you hooligans steal anything for anybody!"

"No no no no! We're their friends!" Remus protested.

"I'm sure James wouldn't mind robbing Lily of her knickers, eh?" Sirius said, elbowing James.

James turned bright red and pushed Sirius out the door, eager to get away from the old man. "WE'LL BE LEAVING NOW! THANKS FOR YOUR HELP!"

Peter and Remus hurried after their friends, hastily grabbing their luggage.

"Damn robbers!"

As they walked on the pathway, Sirius was hit in the back of the head with a boot.

Sirius rubbed his head and picked up the projectile. "What. The. Hell."

He turned around and chucked the boot back through the doorway, receiving a yelp. A few seconds later more shoes came flying out of the doorway, and the boys started running down the old mans walk way, using their bags to shield them from oncoming shoes.

"Get out of here you nitwits!" The old man hollered. "You owe me a door!"

Once they were outside the gate they slowed to a walk.

The other three boys stared at Sirius.

"What? Don't look at me like that! He threw it first!"

"You threw a shoe at a senile, paranoid, spazy old man!" Peter pointed out. "That's not nice!"

"So? I throw them at my grandfather all the time. He's not nice."

"That doesn't make it right!" Remus protested.

"It makes him shut up!"

Peter looked at him strangely as they approached the real Evans's house. "I'll never understand your family. Or you for that matter."

"Yeah, you'll _siriusously_ never understand my family."

There was a collection of groans as Sirius grinned to himself.

"Did you guys see? He had MY HEAD in there!"

"Prongs, it was a stag's head, not yours…."

"You know what Padfoot, I really think that old man would enjoy hunting down a certain dog…"

"Am I the only one who found the situation hilarious?"

"Probably Padfoot, I mean, its not everyday you break down a door, get harassed by a paranoid geezer, and get pelted with boots. I'm sure you enjoyed the experience."

"I agree with Moony. He's more dangerous than us."

The Marauders nodded in agreement, and followed Remus's suggestion of pushing the button next to the door.

Sirius hugged himself hard and squeezed his eyes shut.

The rest of the Marauders stared at Sirius with an I-Can't-Believe-This look.

Sirius opened one eye cautiously. "McGonagall's not around, is she?"

Remus rolled his eyes as the door opened.

Simultaneously, all the Marauders crossed their fingers behind their backs with terrified looks on their face.

Lily stood at the door, wide eyed.

There was an awkward silence as Lily's mouth hung open.

"You! Here- whaaaaaat! How! ARGGG!" She stammered and slammed the door in the boy's faces. There was a scream from inside the house.

"It's nice to see you too Lily! I would love to come in!" Sirius said to the door. "My summer is great so far! I was pelted with shoes by an old geezer!"

The boys waited outside the door, unsure of what to do.

Remus awkwardly put his hand out. The boys groaned and handed over their galleons.

Remus grinned at stared at the door.

Moments later, the door reopened, showing Lily next to her mother.

"Hello boys! Was the taxi alright?"

"We, er, figured it out." Remus decided it would be a good idea not to tell them what happened after the taxi, and that there neighbor was a homicidal maniac who abused kids with shoes.

"We'll hear more about that later. Come in!"

Mrs. Evans led the boys into the living room, where they put down their luggage.

"I'm so glad your parents allowed you to come camping with us. Petunia won't be able to come, seeing as she's with her fiancée."

Lily, who was next to her mother, stared. "We're going camping?"

"Yes, honey. The boys are coming too. We're leaving in a few days, and staying for three weeks at that campsite we went to last year. Remember that place?"

Lily walked hurriedly to the stairs.

"Excuse me while I go kill myself."

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Read and Review please!


	2. In Which James is the Hunter & the Hunte

Disclaimer: Still don't own anything.

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I Know What You're Doing This Summer

Chapter 2: In Which James is the Hunter and the Hunted

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Lily ran up the stairs to her room.

Potter? Here? With his goonies? Why wasn't she told? What in the world made her mother decide to invite THEM of all people?

Lily yelled into her pillow as loud as she could.

James Potter. WHY? She was looking forward to her summer!

There was a knock on her door and her father entered.

Lily sat up on her bed as Mr. Evans took a seat next to her.

"Lils, I'm sorry. We should have told you."

"Yeah, you should have! They're going to ruin my summer! They have to stay in my house for a few days, I have spend a FOUR HOUR car ride with them-"

"Well, your mother and I discussed that. We decided to take two cars."

A wave of relief washed over Lily. "So I can ride with you or mom instead of them? Thank God."

"Er, actually, we thought that you might want to drive with the boys in your car…."

There was an awkward silence.

"Am I allowed to crash the car on purpose?"

Mr. Evans tried to hide a chuckle and instantly disguised it as a coughing fit.

Lily's mother entered the room and quietly closed the door behind her.

Lily gave her an icy glare.

"So let me get this straight… the Ego Regime are staying at MY house for two days, then I will have to spend a four HOUR car ride to the campsite in MY car that they will damage on purpose, where we will be for three WEEKS, and I'm not suppose get angry and start throwing things around and start complaining?" Lily asked coldly, her eyes even greener than how they were normally.

Mr. and Mrs. Evans looked at each other. They had been at the receiving end of the red head wraths before, and were in no mood to deal with it again.

"That would be nice." Rose said through gritted teeth.

"So, why did you invite them?"

"We were talking to Mrs. Potter at the train station during Christmas, and offered to take the boys when we heard that Harold and Marilyn were suppose to go on a business trip for a month. The boys seem very nice. After all, the Potters have helped us so much these past years."

Indeed, as much as Lily hated to admit, Mr. and Mrs. Potter had done a lot to help keep the Evans safe, which included a number of security spells, as well as helping Lily out of a tight spot when she preformed accidental magic on her sister.

Lily tried to take calming breaths and closed her eyes. Maybe Potters' going to behave… Maybe Black will act his age… Maybe Peter will be more individual… Maybe Remus will actually TRY to make them behave…. Maybe she'll live to be 564…

Mr. Evans sighed. "I expected more of a protest from you Lily. I thought you hated those boys?"

Mrs. Evans raised her eyebrows. "What kind of response did you expect? Lily is a mature teenager and-"

She couldn't take it anymore.

"I HATE THAT DAMN-"

"Lily!" Mrs. Evans gasped.

"…POTTER AND HIS POSSE OF EVIL MIND SUCKING FIENDS! ARROGENT PRAT WHO'S GOING TO BE IN MY PRESENCE FOR A THIRD OF THE SUMMER!"

The Evan parents looked at each other.

"I'm sorry sweetie, but those boys are nice. Why don't you give them a try?"

"No, you don't understand mother! Those boys try to destroy my life! They are after my blood!"

"Lils, please. We all want to enjoy this vacation-"

"Then kick them out!"

"LILY MARIE EVANS! I'm sorry you don't like the boys, but they're coming with us. We WANT them to join us."

Mr. and Mrs. Evans walked out into the hallway and down the stairs to the kitchen.

Mrs. Evans rubbed her fingers against her forehead.

"Why doesn't Lily like the boys?"

"I like them fine. Very funny group. Remember the times we met them at the station?"

It was true. The Marauders, as annoying as they might be towards Lily, were actually very polite and funny to the Evan couple.

"At least we didn't tell her the second part."

Mr. Evans nodded in agreement.

--------------------------------

"I think Lily took that rather well."

"Er, Moony, she slammed the door in our face! That's not 'taking it well'."

"Personally James, I thought that she would chuck something at your head."

"Thanks." James replied sarcastically.

They were planning on staying at the Evans for two days, where the four of them would stay in two of the guest rooms. Sirius and James would stay in one room, while Remus and Peter would stay in the one next to them.

"I just wish that Lily would give me a chance…." James sighed. He longed for the day the redhead would give him a second glance… but how? She didn't like it when he made people laugh that was for sure…

"Deflate your head." Peter said, munching on a chocolate frog.

Sirius snorted. "Way to be blunt…."

"Let's go downstairs. Mrs. Evans said something about showing us the rest of the house." Remus suggest.

Sirius stuck out his chest and pointed toward the door. "Onward my good men! Let's go defend the innocent!"

It turns out that the Evans had a pool in their backyard. They boys decided they might as well use it, seeing as James and Peter were already soaked. No thanks to Sirius of course.

James was the first one done changing. He walked across the hall to Lily's room. He stood impatiently outside the door as he dreamed about how her room would look like… there would be red and gold… would it be as beautiful as Lily herself?

When he got no answer from his knock, he cautiously opened the door and walked in.

James was flabbergasted when he walked into Lily's room.

The room was plain, with dark green sheets, and a grayish carpet. There was a dresser and a desk against the wall that had an odd black box on it. There was also a window seat, with the same dark green cushions. Lily was sitting at the desk, tapping on a black rectangular box, while staring at another black box that had a window. There was something over her ears... perhaps small earmuffs?

James was shocked. He had never been in a muggle house, let alone a muggle room.

But he did notice one thing.

"YOU TRAITOR!" James bellowed.

Lily fell off her chair and sat awkwardly on the floor, the 'earmuffs' coming off.

There was an awkward silence as Lily squeezed her eyes shut, trying to erase the image of James in her room.

He was still there when she opened them. So much for wishful thinking…

"POTTER! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM!"

James was in shock…. Never had he ever… his crush was… he could barely handle it….

"Green and silver…." He whispered.

Lily looked at him expectantly, giving him an impatient 'go on' look.

"I knew it! I know why you didn't like your hair! You you… UNPATRIOTIC GRYFFINDOR! Or should I say, SLYTHERIN! Wait, you're a Slytherdor! Or a Gryfferin!"

Lily had just gotten over the fact that James had shocked her so badly that she fell off her chair. But now the feeling had passed, and she was more confused than anything at the moment.

"What are you TALKING ABOUT POTTER?"

"Your room! Its like the Slytherin common room!"

"Ha! I knew it! So you admit to going in there! Wait till I catch you next time!" Lily said, fist tightly closed.

"I can't believe you, you Gryfferin!"

"Excuse me? What the bloody hell are you talking about dimwit?"

"Silver, green, silver, green, this is SLYTHERIN WORSHIP GATHERING PLACE!"

James was right, the room was made up of mostly green and silver (which looked very nice), but was very wrong in the sense that Lily worshiped Slytherins in her free time…

Lily stood up, marched over to James and looked him straight in the eyes.

'She's so close…' James thought dreamily as Lily glared at him.

"One, I am a GRYFFINDOR, in case your puny mind can't ever remember that. I don't even want to know where you came up with Gryfferin or Slytherdor. Two, you are in my room. Which means…"

"Which means what?"

"Get out!"

Lily shoved James out of her room and locked her door.

The nerve of him… a Gryfferin? She was a Gryffindor through and through! Green and silver went nice together…

Lily smirked to her self as she came up with a brilliant idea.

"Oi! Evans! I was going to tell you we were going swimming, till I got sidetracked with your Gryfferin side!" A muffled voice called through the door.

Lily rolled her eyes and grabbed her bathing suit.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

James grudged back to the room he was sharing with Sirius. He flopped down on to the air mattress and lay there very still, staring at the ceiling.

The other three boys gave each other concerned looks.

"Galleon says its Lily." Remus betted, nudging Sirius.

Sirius gave Remus a look. "No shit Sherlock. This is how he reacts every time she says the word 'no'. It even happened when she said 'no' when McGonagall asked her if 'Ocimorhus' was the right word to transfigure a penguin."

"What's wrong Prongs?" Peter asked.

James took a deep breath.

"I'M IN LOVE WITH A GRYFFERIN!"

Sirius gasped audibly.

"Noooooo!"

Peter and Remus casted each other confused looks.

"She's a Gryfferin guys! This is not possible!" Seeing the two Marauders faces, James added. "A Gryffindor who's a Slytherin wanna-be."

Remus rolled his eyes. Dear god… this was NOT the way to prove that he was worthy of dating Lily… stupid deer…

Sirius gave James a confused look.

"I thought you were referring to the fact that you were actually in love! Love… the incurable sickness of the heart that leads to death! You've got the disease man! Hold me while you're here!" Sirius cried dramatically. "He's in love! There is nothing we can do to save him! Wait…"

Sirius bent down and put his hand on James' head. He then knocked on his forehead.

"What the hell Padfoot!"

The knocking ceased, and Sirius lifted himself to a kneeling position.

"He's still here. Wormtail, hand me those scissors."

Without questioning Sirius, Peter handed over the scissors from the desk. Not the smartest thing undoubtly, but Peter had once questioned and was chased around the common room with a fire poker.

"There's only one way to save you! To cut out your heart before it affects the rest of your body!" Sirius held up the scissors above James's chest.

James eyes widened. "OH HELL NO!"

He rolled off the air mattress just in time to hear a whoosh of air come out of the inflatable bed.

James's eyes widened even more. He sat gaping at the deflated mattress.

"I… me… mattress… scissors…. I was…"

He glared at Sirius and pointed. "MURDERER!"

Sirius gulped and dropped the scissors as James started to chase him around the room.

"Actually, he would have to have killed someone to be called a murder!" Remus added as James chased Sirius out of the room and down the hall with the scissors the latter had abandoned.

- - -- - - - - - - -- - - - - - --

Mr. and Mrs. Evans were in the kitchen preparing lunch. They boys had come mid-morning, and it was almost noon.

They heard a loud clatter and an 'OOF'.

They froze as they saw Sirius roll into the kitchen donning his zebra print bathing suit and red shirt, which clashed horribly.

He stood up swaying, shaking his head to rid it of the dizziness he had acquired.

What he was wearing didn't shock them at all; what did was that had just ROLLED into the kitchen.

Mr. Evans grinned as he realized that Sirius must have just fallen down the stairs and pulled a James Bond, as Mrs. Evans sighed.

"Hey Mr. and Mrs. E!" Sirius said waving and out of breath. "Oh shit… takimushroom!" He added hurriedly as he realized that the adults probably wouldn't appreciate his swearing.

Mr. Evans rolled his eyes as he reached for the kitchen knife he was using to cut tomatoes.

Suddenly, James came running into the kitchen, eyes slanted, equipped with gleaming scissors.

Mr. and Mrs. Evans stood awkwardly as James chase Sirius around the table, yelling death threats.

Mrs. Evans snapped to her senses as Sirius crawled under the table to the other side.

"Er, James honey, can you put down the scissors and stop trying to kill Sirius?"

James stopped in mid pounce and landed on the floor with a loud crash.

Everyone simultaneously winced as he landed.

"Sorry Mrs. Evans." James said with a bright red face as he pulled himself up using the table. How that must have looked to the girl of dream's parents! There was no chance… not unless they found this incident hilarious…

"I don't want to have to drive you boys down to the hospital more than 5 times this vacation. Got it?"

Sirius and James saluted, the scissors now safely in Mrs. Evans custody.

As the Evans couple turned back to their previous tasks, James ran at Sirius, knocking him through the screen door, across the deck and tackled him into the pool.

- - - - - - -- - - - - --- - - -- - -

Lily quickly looked out her window when she heard a loud crash. She had just finished changing into her bathing suit.

She looked out her window, which showed her backyard, and groaned when she was what happened.

Mr. Suave and Mr. Ego had successfully brought the screen door into the pool. In five different pieces.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Lily grabbed a shirt and shorts and put them on as she made her way down the hall.

As Lily walked past Sirius's and James room, she realized that Remus and Peter were occupying it, with a …… deflated mattress in between them?

"Uhh… guys?"

Remus looked up. He was too distracted and panicked to hear Lily's footsteps.

"There is a good reason behind this. Wait… I wouldn't call it that…" Remus started. "I would say a stupid reason with not so good intentions."

"Does it involve the two goons who brought the screen door into the pool with them?"

"THEY DID WHAT?"

- - - - - ---- - - -- -- - - - - --

The boys nearly fainted with relief as Mr. Evans laughed at their tale.

"You boys aren't getting in trouble but-"

"Oh yes they are!" Lily cut in. "Deport them back to where they came from!"

"Lily sweetie, I can't deport the boys. They live in England."

"Then kick them out of the country. They're a danger to society."

"Actually," Sirius said, wiggling his eyebrows, "I think the society enjoys us. We make nice scenery."

"I correct myself. They are a danger to the society's saneness."

All Mr. Evans could do was laugh.

- - -- - - - -- - - - -- - - - -- - - -

There wasn't any swimming for the rest of the day; Lily had bullied them into doing their homework while it rained outside. James had to fix the door with Mr. Evans before dinner.

Mr. Evans had shown James how to put the screen in and the two worked for a couple of minutes in uncomfortable silence.

"You have a crush on Lily, don't you James?"

James stopped with the screwdriver in his hand, crouched over the metal rim on the floor.

He sighed, and placed the tool gently next to him.

"Yeah. Since second year."

"That's a long time. Five years…"

"I suppose I'll never get her to like me though. I know she never will." James laughed to himself. "I prank people, which annoys her to no end. I've asked her out everyday since fifth year, including the summer, which I'm sure you've noticed. I've dated other girls, trying to get my mind off of her. I'm exactly the opposite of what she wants."

"You know what they say. Opposites attract."

"Yeah, but I guess there's this big one-way window between us. It's too thick to have anything able to attract through it."

James picked up the screwdriver and began to work on the screen door again.

"It's true it's a one way glass; I know everything about her. Ask away." He told Mr. Evans.

"Favorite color."

"Yellow."

"Food?"

"Strawberry ice cream, with whipped cream and chocolate syrup."

"Crush?"

"Some Ravenclaw goody good- hey!" James laughed as Mr. Evans chuckled.

"I almost got an answer out of that. I've heard things about you."

"Like the time I changed Lily's skin to that of a frogs?"

"Well, besides that." He said with a smile. "Like how you're one of the only people she knows who can get a perfect grade without studying."

James looked shocked.

"Er… so it wasn't stated as nicely perhaps… but these little comments add up to how much she notices you. She's told me the answer to every question I asked you."

"Favorite color?"

"Red. She said you commented that when she asked why you turned everything in her dorm red. She was exceptionally sour about that incident."

"It changed back!"

"I know son, I know… Lily and I are tight… tighter perhaps than her and her mother. I think I know of every prank, accomplishment, and reason why you shouldn't have accomplished it."

James and Mr. Evans were almost done with the screen. They worked for a few more minutes.

"Favorite food?"

"Pasta. With sauce. And lots of cheese."

"I think she got that from the Dinner Prank."

Mr. Evans laughed. "Indeed she did."

"Crush?"

"Millie, Jessica, Bernice, Alyson-"

"Whaaa- no! Those were flings! Sirius's flings for that matter!"

James helped Mr. Evans put the door back on the roller.

"I love Lily very much. And I want what's good for her and what makes her happy. And you, James, are-"

"Not that person."

"James, my wish is that one day, that glass door you talk about, opens to reveal the door you so gracefully destroyed, and then opens all the way so there is nothing in between you two."

And with his statement, Mr. Evans left James in the kitchen by himself.

- - - -- - - - -- - - - -- - - - - - -- -

Everyone sat down at the kitchen table later on that night. Mrs. Evans had cooked a delicious meal and they couldn't wait to get started on it.

James had a feeling Mr. Evans was getting a kick out of the fact that Lily had to sit next to him, seeing as she was the last one down.

"So how was your trip over here boys? Taxi okay?"

"Only a few problems."

"Like trying to figure out how to get in the bloody thing."

Everyone laughed.

"So you reached the house okay?"

The Marauders glanced at each other.

"Well…" Remus started.

"Were you aware you have a senile homicidal killer as a neighbor?" Sirius asked.

"You mean Mr. Ackerly?'

"That THING has a name?" Sirius asked flabbergast.

"He's very protective of Lily. Remember when she was 8-"

"No Mom, they don't need to know about that." Lily said sternly.

"Honey, it's in the past! I'm sure it happened to them too"

"Mom-"

"You know, when Sirius was 8 he tried to fit inside a grandfather clock in his house. It took his brother 3 hours to finally tell his parents, who took another hour to get down the stairs."

"You know what James, I'm sure they'd be thrilled to hear about the time you were 9 and-"

James covered Sirius mouth with his hand.

"They really don't need to know that."

"She was being picked on." Mrs. Evans finished.

Lily, who thought she was safely out of the discussion, slammed her head onto the table, just missing the potatoes.

She turned a bright red. James did not need another thing to bug her with… god knows where he keeps his draw full of blackmail…

James scowled. "About what?"

Lily turned even redder. She had refused to tell her parents why when she was younger, and was not in the mood to tell anyone in the near future.

"Nothing. The usual. I bet you guys were really bad kids." Lily said changing the subject back to Sirius's adventure.

"I was an innocent child. Really." Remus insisted.

"Well Moony, that one time…" Sirius started, but stopped. He wasn't going to tell the story of how or why Remus was bitten.

"What did Remus do?"

"Write all over the walls with those magic pens. Took his parents weeks to get it off." James added quickly.

Remus sighed with relief. That was actually one of James and Sirius's adventures at the Potter house…

"When I was younger I pretended I was a vampire and ran around biting people. Gave my brother a nasty scar on his neck. Deserved it though." Sirius said, grinning as he remembered the incident.

"I poured salt on the floor in random piles. It fascinated me for some reason." Peter said.

"Salt?"

"I also dumped flour on my head and poured ketchup on my stomach."

"I drew on walls, ran everywhere, poured cooking oil on my head, and supposedly lit my hair on fire no less than three times."

"That's probably why it's in the condition it's in now Prongs." Sirius joked. "I remember that when my parents got mad at me, they locked me in my room, and they could lock me from the inside out. Of course, being the brilliant child I was, I realized that if I jiggled the door enough the lock would come off. I think I was too smart for my age."

"Not anymore." Remus said. "I wouldn't say that sliding down the railings of a moving staircase at Hogwarts is 'smart for your age'."

"Yeah, I still got the scars from that incident."

Mr. and Mrs. Evans watched on amused as the boys told embarrassing stories of their childhood….

"I remember I went on holiday and saw a veela! Man, you should have seen my brother!"

"Yeah, at least you didn't get chased by a hippogriff across one of those muggle tallways-"

"Highways." Lily corrected. "Honesty, don't you listen during muggle studies?"

"No, we're too busy doing other things… Padfoot! Remember the time we were throwing paper around the room and it landed in the teachers hair and she didn't realize it!"

"What about all the times you picked on the Slytherins, Potter?" Lily asked nastily.

"Evans, they deserved it. They were calling you a… well, not nice things."

"I can take care of myself."

"I forgot you're a Gryfferin. You can go join your buddies."

"Potter, if you say that one more time I will hurt you…."

"You can't hurt me! I'm to handsome to hurt!"

"Wanna bet?" Lily said menacingly, picking up her knife.

"Come on Evans, you know you love me…Gryfferin."

With that, Lily started chasing James around the house with the knife.

When the rest of the group found them, James somehow ended up in a tree, with Lily circling him underneath with a pair of… garden hedgers?

Apparently she had abandoned the knife when she found a bigger weapon.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - -

"HEY! A LITTLE HELP HERE?"

Sirius looked up at James, who was perched on a branch.

"You got yourself up there mate. Get down."

"How? I don't even know how I got up!"

"I don't know…Jump?"

"Only you would do something as stupid as that Padfoot." Remus commented. "Lily's gone to her room, jus get down now! Do you want a ladder?"

James was about to comment back, when he saw a squirrel was sitting on the same branch he was. James froze.

'That is one big arse rodent…'

The squirrel narrowed its eyes…

'Narrowed its eyes? Squirrels can't do that…'

And then the squirrel began to run at him.

So James, forgetting he was at least 8 feet up in the air, jumped off yelping.

Mrs. Evans wasn't pleased when she had to drive James to the hospital when he stated that he could no longer feel his arm at 11:00 at night.

-- - - - - - - - -- -- - - - - - - - - - -

Read and Review! Thanks to all those who have reviewed!

Be happy, I think this whole updating concept is getting to my head!


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